Behind everything thing we do is a need that wants to be satisfied. One of the greatest sources of tension in relationships is the conflict that occurs because someone has not been able to meet our needs. These unmet needs result in most disputes and disappointments people have with one another.
Examples of things we need are: respect, value, belonging, feeling safe or feeling heard and so forth.
The more disappointments you have, the more tumultuous your relationship. This opens us up to being deeply wounded and to feeling tremendous pain and sadness. We perceive this person as the cause of our unhappiness.
When these negative feelings develop, they come out as either anger towards ourselves, or as anger towards others. To solve this problem, you have to identify, explore and develop a plan of action for the unmet need.
Therapy can help you do so.
Carrie
