Let’s face it. We all judge one another. We judge each other’s actions. We judge each other’s words. We like to label people and put them in boxes. We brand people by education, age, race, religion, sex, sexual orientation, physical appearance, income, class, behaviors, etc. The list goes on and on. It’s everywhere and it’s in all forms.
Unless you are 100% happy with yourself, you are likely to judge others. Judging can make us feel safe about ourselves because we have now “defined” or labeled who this person is and what they are about and now we can act accordingly. Or so it seems.
However, judgments hurt people. Judgment turns off a switch. Our opinion seals their fate and keeps us from understanding the full situation. If we are honest with ourselves, most judgments about people are based on incomplete information. You don’t know exactly what that person is going through. You have no idea. You think you know, but you don’t.
What we do know is your perception of other people says a lot about your own personality. Judgments reveal our soft spots. Our insecurities. Our weaknesses. Not theirs.
4 Reasons We Judge Others
INSECURITY. This is the biggest reason people judge. If we are unhappy with who we are, we have a tendency to put other people down to make us feel better about ourselves.
PRIDE. Out of a sense of superiority, we judge others just to feel better about what we are doing or not doing. You would never tolerate a certain behavior in yourself and you resent someone else for doing it. Or perhaps you have something and you perceive this as better than the person who doesn’t. This judgment is of self-importance.
FEAR. We put someone down to feel better because we are scared. We judge by minimizing what someone has or has accomplished or by emphasizing what they don’t have, makes us feel better about ourselves. Something about this person is a threat and we need to minimize the threat.
ENVY. We feel bitter about someone’s advantages, success, possessions and so forth. This judgment typically leads to resentment because someone has something we do not. It leaves us wondering what they did to deserve it.
So what do you do?
Be aware of your judgments. Although you might not like this quality about yourself, view this as a learning opportunity.
Secondly, look at why you feel the need to judge. What does this person show you about yourself? Do you want to be more like this person or less like this person? What is this person capable of that frightens you?
Also, challenge yourself to a new way of thinking. Keep open to the possibility that there is something about the situation that we don’t fully understand. Recognize your tendency to judge and make appropriate allowances before making decisions or comments.
Amazing people screw up. Not so amazing people screw up. But everyone is capable of doing great. Don’t we all want that chance?
Carrie
Beautifully articulated & spot on.