Do people not see where you are coming from? Do people get mad at you for what seems like no reason at all? Do you downplay your ideas when someone disagrees with you? Do you hide your emotions because you think they’re irrational?
Whether your spouse, your partner, a family member, a friend, a coworker or a complete stranger misunderstands you, being misread and misinterpreted is a really unpleasant, uncomfortable and frustrating experience. Misunderstandings take a real toll on our self-esteem and consume our thoughts for days, months, years or even lifetimes.
If you have a desperate need to be understood by others, you’re not alone. But, being universally liked and understood should not be your goal. People can’t give you what they don’t have.
Not everyone is going to get you. Not everyone gets me. The sooner you understand and accept this concept, the sooner you will find peace within yourself and power for your path forward.
The key to contentment is to seek connections with people who “get you”, as opposed to trying to convince or become more likeable to those who don’t.
A harsh reality is that the unsupportive-unaccommodating-don’t-get-it-people-in-your-life are often your family and friends. Going outside your normal networks to find like-minded people that will support you in ways your family and friends cannot makes a huge difference. It doesn’t make your family wrong. It doesn’t make your friends incorrect. It doesn’t make you right. It just means you are different.
If you have difficulty connecting to those around you (even your family) they simply might not be equipped to be supportive of the direction you are headed. Although this can be painful to hear, you may have to go outside the ones you love most in order to find the support you need right now. For many people, therapy is extremely helpful and provides a non-judgmental place to begin this process.
Not everyone will get you. But those that do will make it all worthwhile.
Carrie
