Do you bend over backwards for people who aren’t growing? Do you minimize your accomplishments so that other people won’t feel bad about themselves? Do you shrink yourself for love?
Maybe you’re in a love that’s holding you back. Perhaps you’re afraid to leave a career that’s run its course. Maybe the greatness you strive for also comes with bigger haters, so you retreat.
Shrinking is behaving in ways that do not utilize your full potential in order to appease others or to “fit in”. You’ve heard you’re too needy, too loud, too emotional, too demanding, too opinionated, too aggressive too full of yourself, too pushy, too selfish or too whatever. So you’ve learned to shrink yourself in countless ways to disappear into the crowd instead of being true to yourself.
Shrinking is the part in each of us that focuses on finding short-term security and temporary comfort due to over-emphasizing the importance of what others think of us. We dismiss what we truly want in order to maintain an illusion of security, acceptance or control. It’s motivated by our low self-worth and insecurities, but mostly our fears.
What would it mean for you to be a little bolder in your roles? What is holding you back and why are you playing small? And when you find yourself shrinking in the presence of others, what is it you truly fear?
Therapy for “shrinking” can be beneficial if the following strikes a chord with you:
1. You play small so you don’t have to lose anything.
2. You shrink because it’s safer.
3. You fear what other people will think.
4. You fear leaving others behind.
5. You lack confidence.
6. You hide your voice.
7. You wait to be asked.
8. You are unable to take risks.
In order for us to change our behaviors, the reward we receive for being bold has to be greater than the effort and amount of courage it takes to do it.
Here’s to taking up more space,
Carrie
