Do you have a tendency to ignore what’s going on with yourself and instead focus on other people? Do you work yourself to exhaustion hoping one day you’ll be noticed? Have you learned how to tune into what other people are feeling in hopes of controlling the outcome? Do you find yourself thinking, “I just want to be loved?” Do you fantasize that the next person (in whatever area of your life) will make things better?
If you found yourself answering yes to any of these questions, it may be time to dig a little deeper. This kind of thinking can be dangerous and it can also lead to feeling confused, lost and generally unhappy.
Everyone wants to be loved. People want to feel cared for and appreciated, whether it’s in your career, intimate relationships or your friendships. This is perfectly normal and a feeling that drives us to exist as humans.
However, if you fall in love with the idea that your happiness and safety comes from other people either liking you, loving you, approving of you or spending time with you, then you are on a slippery slope.
This process typically backfires. Here’s why…
Rather than being genuine, you work tirelessly to create an image that you think people will find appealing. You work hard to overdo, overextend and please. The problem is, this isn’t you. You become a version of what you think you think people want you to be.
Happiness and safety comes from approving of yourself, defining your own worth, spending time with yourself, and taking loving actions for yourself. Then it becomes natural and genuine to share your love and caring with others.
If you find this challenging or you don’t know where to begin, consider meeting with a therapist. Therapy explores difficulties behind your barriers and ways to improve your relationship with yourself.
Carrie
Totally agree Carrie, love yourself and you’ll lead people to love you^^