“When we avoid difficult conversations, we trade short term discomfort for long term dysfunction.” ~Peter Bromberg
How often is your response to conflict, “I don’t want to talk about it”? OR do you apologize to the person, agree, and accommodate them? Perhaps you attempt to shut down the other person by just accepting all the blame or claiming you’re just a bad person.
Many of us avoid tough conversations because we are afraid. The consequence of someone’s negative reaction or an undesirable outcome is too much to bear. Conflict avoiders are often worried about their likeability. Also, they don’t see a clear way to bring up an issue and resolve it peacefully.
Spend some time thinking about what you have learned about difficult conversations in your past. If negative emotions show up every time you are faced with a possible confrontation, your memories may not even be conscious. The anxiety you feel from avoiding confrontation, is often caused by trauma from your past; a dynamic that can make even the smallest conflicts feel paralyzing.
Avoiding potential conflict doesn’t reduce tension. Most often, it escalates it. I ask you to consider the consequences of avoiding difficult conversations.
If you need to have some tough conversations and are feeling scared and inadequate, please reach out to a therapist.
Who has been impacted either directly or indirectly by your fear of confrontation?
Drop your comments below.
