Bricks in the wall.

When we’ve been hurt, we immediately want to protect ourselves. When we’ve been wounded, we don’t want to feel the pain. So we change our behavior to act as a defense mechanism for the “next time.” These mechanisms compound to build a thicker and thicker wall to “protect” ourselves.

These walls keep the world at a safe distance. They are not constructed over night, but rather built over time. With each disappointment we go through, each wrong done against us, and reach regret we carry with us, we add another brick to the wall. We build it higher and higher. We keep stacking and stacking.

While walls create the feeling of protection, the problem with having walls is that not only do they keep everyone out; they also keep you locked in.

These walls are like armor. We don’t even notice how high or hardened our walls have become. They imprison the softness of our heart.

We become more fearful, hardened and alienated. We begin to lean on this wall. We take comfort in this wall. We stay so closed off that we hinder ourselves more than we help ourselves. We end up creating our own prison.

Logically, we know these walls that once served a legitimate purpose are no longer any good. However, it is primarily our emotions, and not logic, that dictates our lives.

Logic doesn’t really work here, so therapy teaches you how to validate your feelings, while learning how to chip away at your walls. It’s possible to break down your walls while learning how to protect yourself. Therapy can show you how.

Tell me your story.

Carrie