Can trust be rebuilt?

Once trust is broken, rebuilding it is a long process. It takes a mutual commitment to move beyond what happened instead of reliving and rehashing. Sometimes it is best to simply move on.

Assuming you want to rebuild the trust and the relationship, you need three things.

Truth and Transparency.
Trust is destroyed because of deception, secrets, lies, and broken promises. The only possible way to rebuild trust is through absolute and complete honesty and transparency. Hiding details or information will continue to weaken trust and make the hurt or betrayal even worse.

Time.
Broken trust takes time to repair. There is no quick fix. The length of time to satisfy the person whose trust was violated will vary according to the significance of the event and prior or ongoing other non-trustworthy behavior the other person displays. The process takes as long as it takes.

Teamwork.
You both have work to do. Whatever the reason for the broken trust, you are both dealing with emotional turmoil. If the relationship is to heal, you will need to be mindful that it has to be something you both want. For the present and foreseeable future, the untrustworthy person cannot be taken at their word. Their trustworthiness will be a function of their deeds or actions.

At the same time, when you use the broken trust as a weapon to hurt your partner or when behaviors are constantly under scrutiny, both parties can tire of the effort. You can easily lose the war to win a battle. Instead, make the effort to identify and spotlight the things about the relationship that make it worth saving.

Tell me your story.

Carrie