Caregivers

Caregiver stress and burnout
With an aging population and changes in health care, such as shorter hospital stays, people who are not health care professionals are providing more and more caregiving. A caregiver is anyone who provides help to another person in need, whether that’s an ill spouse or partner, a disabled child, or an aging parent or relative. Indeed, more than 65 million Americans provide care to a loved one.

Caregiving is rewarding but stressful.

If you’re a caregiver, you know that taking care of someone who needs your assistance can be very rewarding. Being there for your loved ones when they need you is a core value for many. But being a caregiver can take its toll on a person’s health and well being.  Caregiver stress is common.

What is caregiver stress?

Caregiver stress is the emotional and physical strain of caregiving. The stress is not only related to the daunting work of caregiving, but also the grief associated with the decline in the health of their loved ones. Often their stress is associated with physical strains, financial constraints, emotional effects, and social isolation.  Caregivers are also most vulnerable to changes in their own health.

Many caregivers fall into the trap of believing that they have to do everything by themselves. Don’t make that mistake. Take advantage of the many resources and tools available to help you provide care for your loved one. Remember, if you don’t take care of yourself you won’t be able to care for anyone else.
Signs of caregiver stress

The demands of caregiving can be overwhelming, especially if you feel you have little control over the situation or you’re in over your head. If the stress of caregiving is left unchecked, it can take a toll on your health, relationships, and state of mind—eventually leading to burnout.

What Are the Symptoms of Caregiver Stress?

The symptoms of caregiver stress are similar to the symptoms of stress and depression. They include:

• Withdrawal from friends, family, and other loved ones
• Loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed
• Feeling blue, irritable, hopeless, and helpless
• Changes in appetite, weight, or both
• Changes in sleep patterns, difficulty sleeping
• Getting sick more often or new or worsening health problems
• Emotional and physical exhaustion, feeling tired and run down
• Irritability or overreacting to minor nuisances
• Feeling increasingly resentful
• Neglecting responsibilities

What Causes Caregiver Burnout?

Caregivers often are so busy caring for others that they tend to neglect their own emotional, physical, and spiritual health. The demands on a caregiver’s body, mind, and emotions can easily seem overwhelming, leading to fatigue and hopelessness — and, ultimately, burnout. Other factors that can lead to caregiver burnout include:

Role confusion: Many people are confused when thrust into the role of caregiver. It can be difficult for a person to separate his/her role as caregiver from his/her role as spouse, lover, child, friend, etc.

Unrealistic expectations: Many caregivers expect their involvement to have a positive effect on the health and happiness of their loved one. This may not always be realistic.

Lack of control: Many caregivers become frustrated by a lack of money, resources, and skills to effectively plan, manage, and organize their loved one’s care.

Unreasonable demands: Some caregivers place unreasonable burdens upon themselves, in part because they see providing care as their exclusive responsibility.

Other factors: Many caregivers cannot recognize when they are suffering burnout and eventually get to the point where they cannot function effectively. They may even become sick themselves.

Common signs and symptoms of caregiver burnout

• You have much less energy than you once had
• It seems like you catch every cold or flu that’s going around
• You’re constantly exhausted, even after sleeping or taking a break
• You neglect your own needs, either because you’re too busy or you don’t care anymore
• Your life revolves around caregiving, but it gives you little satisfaction
• You have trouble relaxing, even when help is available
• You’re increasingly impatient and irritable with the person you’re caring for
• You feel helpless and hopeless
• Feelings of wanting to hurt yourself or the person for whom you are caring

When you’re burned out, it’s tough to do anything, let alone look after someone else.Once you burn out, caregiving is no longer a healthy option for either you or the person you’re caring for. So it’s important to watch for the warning signs of caregiver burnout and take action right away when you recognize the problem.

Strategies for dealing with caregiver stress

The emotional and physical demands involved with caregiving can strain even the most resilient person. That’s why it’s so important to take advantage of available help and support. These strategies have helped others manage their caregiver stress:

Accept help. Be prepared with a list of ways that others can help you, and let the helper choose what he or she would like to do. For instance, one person might be willing to take the person you care for on a walk a couple of times a week. Someone else might offer to pick up groceries or even to cook for you.  Someone might even offer to watch your loved one so you can get out of the house for a few hours.

Focus on what you are able to provide. Don’t give in to guilt. Feeling guilty is normal, but understand that no one is a “perfect” caregiver. You’re doing the best you can at any given time. Your house does not have to be perfect, and no one will care if you eat leftovers three days in a row. And you don’t have to feel guilty about asking for help.

Get connected. Organizations such as the Red Cross and the Alzheimer’s Association offer classes on caregiving, and local hospitals may have classes specifically about the disease your loved one is facing.

Join a support group. A support group can be a great source for encouragement and advice from others in similar situations. It can also be a good place to make new friends.  If you are having a difficult time leaving the house, there are even online support groups.

Seek social support. Make an effort to stay emotionally

connected with family and friends. Set aside time each week for socializing, even if it’s just a walk with a friend. Whenever possible, make plans that get you out of the house. Many have identified that maintaining a strong support system is the key to managing the stress associated with caregiving.

Set personal health goals. For example, set a goal to find time to be physically active on most days of the week, or set a goal for getting a good night’s sleep. It’s also crucial to eat a healthy diet.

See your doctor. Get recommended immunizations and screenings. Make sure to tell your doctor that you’re a caregiver. Don’t hesitate to mention any concerns or symptoms you have.

See a therapist. Nearly all caregivers are under a lot of stress. Speaking with a professional about challenges you face while caring for someone can help you manage the stresses and challenges that come with daily tasks. A therapist is a neutral third party who can listen to your problems and concerns, help you find insight into your life, and find ways to manage the potentially hectic task of caregiving.  Online therapy is a perfect way to get the help you need with your limited time and inability to leave your loved one.

Caregiving may last from weeks to decades. Conflicting emotions can be difficult for a caregiver who is already stressed and vulnerable. This conflict may explain why nearly one in three caregivers meets the medical diagnosis for depression. We cannot automatically make emotions go away, and need to allow ourselves to feel angry and not feel guilty. It is important to understand that it is acceptable to have mixed feelings. Unfortunately, if nothing is in place to process emotions in healthy way, they may be processed in unhealthy ways.

The key then to renewing hope may lie in nourishing relationships that support and energize, engaging in self-care practices and living each day believing that acceptance is not about giving up or liking the circumstances of your life in this moment, but instead, making peace with what is.