Closure implies finality; being able to let go of what once was. We are familiar with the concept of closure primarily when it comes to relationships. More specifically, when a relationship ends. Whether it is the ending of a relationship, loss of a family member, waiting for an apology, ending a stage of life, accepting a less than stellar childhood, a change in your way of thinking, or waiting for the “why”, the search for closure can be incredibly painful.
We think closure suggests a chapter will be closed and we will suddenly transition to something new.
But here’s the thing. Closure is overrated. It will never truly be “closed”. So many unknowns means closure doesn’t really exist. Focusing on this magical moment of “closure” keeps you from moving forward. It is a waste of energy. Waiting for the universe to align so you can move on will make you miserable. The best we can hope for is an acceptance of reality.
Many people make the mistake of thinking that you need closure in order to move on. You don’t need validation, the apology or closure to move forward. What you really need is to find other resources with which to get to the resolution.
Instead of waiting for closure, find support from family, friends or a therapist. You don’t have to like it, but work on accepting it. Take it for what it is. Acknowledge your feelings as valid and begin by grieving the loss, whatever it may be. Work on forgiving yourself. Gather your courage and strengths and start making a plan for the future.
Carrie
