Confidence isn’t something you’re born with or without; it’s learned. If you see someone who is undeniably confident, it’s because they’ve been working on it for years.
How do I build my confidence?
My first step has been taking stock of when I am lacking confidence, rather than pushing the feeling away. This helps me spend my energy solving the issue rather than trying to avoid it.
Here are some other tips I use to build confidence:
- I follow through. I feel proud when I say I’m going to do something, and I do it. Commitment helps me pave a path toward accomplishing my goals.
- I only say yes to things I really want to do. If it is difficult for me to say no, then I am more likely to experience burnout, overwhelm, regret and anxiety.
- I accept compliments. Women: Stop being polite at your own expense. If hearing a compliment makes you uncomfortable, start with a simple “Thank you.” Then take a moment to absorb it.
- I do things that make me uncomfortable. It’s easy to keep doing the familiar. Whether it be facing my fears, upping my game or speaking up for myself in a meeting, it all develops my inner strength.
- I ditch the all-or-nothing attitude. Everything is not totally fantastic or totally terrible with nothing in between. I work hard on viewing everything as an opportunity to learn, rather than a pass/fail test.
- I voice my opinion. Are you a “whatever” person? While you might think your laissez fair attitude makes you laid back and easy going, it also tells your brain that your opinion doesn’t matter and what you want is unimportant.
Now, does this mean if I check off all the boxes, I’ll always be confident?
No. Unfortunately, not at all.
You may have confidence is some areas and not in others. That’s how it works for most of us. Acknowledge this and remember confidence in learned. Draw from those areas where you’re self-assured. Then you can focus on acquiring additional skills you need for the areas in which you’re lacking.
What are your favorite self-confidence boosters?
Carrie
