heart·less
displaying a complete lack of feeling or consideration.
Heartless people will use you to get what they want; a job, a position, money, a favor, a friendship, sex, status, a recommendation, or whatever the opportunity they are seeking. Callous people will lie, deceive, pretend or conceal information for their personal gain.
The confusing part is that these people could be your spouse, friend, colleague, ex-spouse, lover, co-worker, neighbor, relative or even yourself.
There is a high probability that heartless people behave this way because of childhood trauma, old wounds, pent-up emotions and anger, lost opportunity, jealousy, unfulfilled dreams, fear of self-disclosure, living in denial and unresolved conflicts.
Think you could never be heartless? Think again. If you are profoundly hurt, it deeply affects your ability to love and trust again. When people hurt us, the hurt comes from how they feel about themselves. It doesn’t justify it, but people see the world through their own eyes. Once you’re hurt, it’s understandable that even when the most sincere person is standing at your doorstep you think twice about letting him or her in. You end up pushing them away, finding every escape clause possible to keep them away. Often this shows in heartless actions.
Many times people make a choice to be heartless, to not care anymore, to feel nothing, to escape from it all. Sometimes it hurts too much to keep caring and you might not have the tools to build healthy boundaries and trust your own emotions and feelers, so it is easier to keep everyone at arms length, especially emotionally. Remember, hurting people hurt people.
Your journey to better relationships begins here.
Carrie
