“Doors are opening. The wait wasn’t punishment. It was preparation.”
Why do we believe that bad things happen to us to punish us?
Many of us create coping mechanisms when life feels scary, out of control, painful or overwhelming. We don’t like the uncertainty or murkiness of the unknown and our brains crave ANSWERS and REASONS. Blaming ourselves is an amazingly creative coping mechanism that gives us the false feeling that we can do something after all. “If only I…. or “I’ll do better at…” then things will be ok.
So, what can you do? You can decide you deserve bad things as punishment for what you did or didn’t do, OR you can choose a different reason.
Your brain is powerful.
Instead of asking what I did to deserve this, ask yourself, “now what? Moving forward, since this has happened, “what would be the best thing for me to do now?”
Refocusing your energy from the pain or blame directs your attention to think over those things which you have control over. We’re then able to switch our brains from victim mode into problem solving mode.
