When someone says to you:
🚫 “You’re too sensitive.”
🚫 “You’re being dramatic.”
🚫 “It’s not that big of a deal.”
🚫 “You can never take a joke.”
🚫 “You always take things the wrong way.”
How do you respond?
Being the nice person that you are, I bet you give them the benefit of a doubt and they ‘get away’ with not treating you the way you deserve.
Consider these sayings to be a red flag and know YOU ARE BEING MANIPULATED. It’s a form of emotional abuse called gaslighting.
If somebody tells you what you are feeling is wrong after they’ve been unkind to you, they are probably (either knowingly or unknowing) trying to cloud your judgment for their own benefit.
Also, the focus of the conversation typically changes from their unhealthy behavior to YOUR REACTION to the unhealthy behavior. Now you feel like you must defend yourself or work on not being “too sensitive.”
So, what do you do?
Be aware that you have a right to your feelings.
After you notice the red flag comments, consider saying to yourself something along the lines of “what that person said or did was not OK.” It will help you re-affirm that you feel the way you feel for a reason.
Secondly, you’ll want to address the issue by saying something like: “What you said or did wasn’t OK with me.”
If you’re resonating with one or more of these symptoms and you think you’re being targeted for gaslighting, you probably are. Realizing that you’re being targeted hurts, but recognizing the problem is the first step in healing.
I know it’s hard and it feels overwhelming. Start small, but start.
