As a therapist, inevitably when this time of years rolls around, I have people tell me how this is “supposed to be” the best and most magical time of the year. It doesn’t matter if it’s a client, family, a friend, co-worker or acquaintance. The conversation is then typically followed up by some sort of valid reason as to why it’s not magical.
I get it. And I hear you. I’m going to tell you something very important.
It’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to be sad. It’s ok to feel lonely. It’s ok to feel lonely, even when you’re surrounded by people. It’s ok that you feel you don’t want to spoil anyone else’s’ holiday season with the way you feel. People may not be talking about it, but I promise you, you’re not alone.
We like to see the holidays as a time where people are just happy, connected and everyone gets along. We look at social media and see people plastered all over our stories and feeds of family and friends having the best of times.
It’s not that everything you see isn’t real or that people aren’t genuinely happy this time of year. But also know that you are seeing everyone’s highlight reel. You’re not seeing the overwhelming grief as a result of that special person they lost this year. You’re not seeing the siblings that don’t get along and refuse to be in the same photo. You’re not seeing the uncontrollable anger of the person who just “lost it” when the kids knocked over dinner. Or watching a family member’s declining health.
For so many people, our expectations are way too high. We expect people to act in certain ways and we expect the holidays to live up to some sort of idea we’ve been fed and conjured up about how things “should” be. Feeling disconnected is made worse by reminders of people that we have lost, people that can’t be with you, people that have made a choice not to be there, divorce, financial restraints, remembering past holidays, and having to pick and choose who to spend time with, as well old wounds and family dysfunction at its finest.
I want you to take 5 minutes for yourself and watch my video for some tips on how to cope this holiday season. It’s not too late to start taking care of yourself. Implementing some of these tips now can make a big difference.
Also, I’ve recently had several clients finish therapy with me. Although it’s always bittersweet for me, I take satisfaction in knowing I’ve done my job in giving them the tools that they need to succeed moving forward.
With that said, I have some therapy slots for you starting immediately. You don’t have to wait for the New Year to get started. We can start now and get a jump start on this next decade. 2020 is just around the corner. I see clients based in the US and abroad.
Click here to schedule a free consult.
Wishing you strength for today and hope for tomorrow during this holiday season and beyond,
Carrie
