Do people treat you poorly? Do you keep picking the wrong relationships? Do your friendships start out strong and eventually crash and burn?
When you don’t expect much in your life or relationships, you settle for less.
Maybe you have a certain idea of what you want from people and how you want to be treated. Perhaps things go well for a while, but then they say or do something that doesn’t measure up to your expectations.
Maybe you’ve been “ghosted” for extended periods of time or maybe you feel used or taken advantage of at work. Perhaps you’ve been disrespected or maybe you’ve been really hurt by someone close to you.
So now what?
Standards serve as guidelines for what is and is not acceptable conduct. Relationship standards are your minimum requirements. This means certain qualities you value must be present in the relationship in order for the relationship to work. If someone fails to meet these requirements, this results in a “deal breaker.”
You can’t control them, but you can control what you will tolerate.
I always recommend attempting to talk through this. How they respond to your concerns will give you a lot of information.
When we don’t have any expectations or standards, anyone can waltz into our lives and create havoc. Dropping below an important standard you’ve set for yourself carries a heavy emotional cost as well as feelings of hopelessness about being able to change the situation.
Keep in mind that not everyone we meet is a potential friend or partner. Not everyone is meant for you. Meet people where they are at, not where you see the potential for them to be. Most importantly, determine if they are a good fit for you, rather than hoping they’ll change.
If you’re having a hard time figuring out who you are or if you know who you are and what you want but can’t seem to implement it, please contact me for a free consultation. www.carrienet.com/contact.
To your success,
Carrie
