Sacrifice is a normal part of every relationship. But how do you know when you are sacrificing too much?
The degree to which we sacrifice depends on where we are, what we want, the nature of the relationship, and the nature of our support.
Sacrificing implies willingly relinquishing something. We start by sacrificing the little things, which can lead to sacrificing big things. Sometimes, we sacrifice for the wrong reasons, such as to keep the peace or to receive sacrifices in return. Suddenly, we are no longer the same person.
Not surprisingly, excessive devotion and sacrifice leads to internal resentment. Sacrificing is a problem when it becomes one-sided or when the power becomes unevenly distributed.
Carrying too much alone for too many years and continually putting everyone else first ultimately leads to bitterness. Once we surrender control it is hard to regain.
If you are sacrificing too much of yourself in your relationship, therapy teaches you how to take turns and share priorities. It teaches you how to get your power back and be in control of your life.
Carrie
Great piece and I really relate to what you have written. Although I do not personally have a mental illness I am supporting my best friend who has depression and suicidal thoughts. I have often struggled with how much I should be supporting her, I want to do my best and do everything I can in order to help her but realistically I cant. I find it so emotionally exhausting and have sacrificed a lot in my life to support her. I have sacrificed so much that I reached a point where I felt I could not continue supporting her as it impacted so negatively on me and I have really had to think about what I am willing to do for my friend and where to draw the line in order to keep me well enough to support her. It is very difficult to accept that I might have to say no to something that she desperately wants and needs from me but in the long term I believe it’s what is best for both of us. I have written a blog on this subject…moodymu.com/draw-the-line
Thank you for your post 🙂
Thank you for your comment. It is a really difficult balance. I think we all like to help, but have to make sure we are caring for ourselves first and foremost. It is a fine line. Best of luck to you!