Have you made excuses for someone who left you? Are you fighting for affection and attention? Have you forgiven a jilted lover only to be cheated on again? Have you excused a friend’s behavior merely to have it backfire on you? Have you given a family member way too many chances? Have you experienced verbal, mental or physical abuse at the hands of someone who claims to love you? Are you forced to prove yourself?
Love has an intense way of keeping us tied to people who wound us. Vulnerability and love are intimately connected and with love comes the ability to hurt and to be hurt.
Many of us have a bad habit of making excuses for other’s behavior. We play out all kinds of scenarios in our heads for their weird, upsetting, insensitive, odd, flaky or downright hurtful behaviors. Often, we believe our own lies, rather than being disappointed by someone we love.
We tell ourselves…
“I’m not good enough”
“I need to be more understanding.”
“He’s super busy and can’t make me a priority right now” “I deserve this.”
Therapy helps you improve the state of your current relationships. It also teaches you how to build new relationships the right way. Educating yourself about being hurt and what causes the hurt is an effective way to remove yourself from hurtful situations.
Being able to spot harmful behavior is the first step to minimizing its impact. A great therapist will guide you in this direction. You might not be able to change what THEY do, but you can change what YOU do with it.
You can love people and decide how you want to be treated. You can keep the door open on your terms, for whenever they are ready to treat you with love, respect and kindness.
It is never too late to create positive change in your life. Let’s work together to heal your wounds.
Carrie
