When I set a boundary, it does not mean I don’t love you or care about you.
Me, setting a boundary, is not a punishment, judgement or betrayal.
I simply create boundaries to honor and protect me.
Here’s the thing… when I set a boundary, I will inevitably offend, hurt, disappoint, shock or anger someone. No matter how sweet my delivery. No matter how I tiptoed around it. No matter how many times I rehearsed my wording ahead of time. No matter.
I will undoubtedly rattle people. And you will too. Setting boundaries triggers uncomfortable feelings in the person it’s being set against. Especially, if they aren’t used to you putting yourself first.
The secret to success is learning to be okay with that.
YOUR APPROVAL OF ME IS NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY.
Boundaries won’t offend people who have boundaries themselves. Healthy people will not have a problem with your boundary. Boundaries will only offend people who don’t have them or those who aren’t willing to understand yours. People who freak out about you setting a boundary, gives YOU a lot of information about THEM.
Until you feel grounded in your values and believe in your right to take care of yourself, you will let other people dictate your behavior.
To your self-worth,
Carrie
