Many of us have difficulty accepting our emotions. So as soon as we feel discouraged, sad, angry, hurt, resentful and so forth, we bury our head in the sand, we “suck it up”, “get over it” and pretend we’re fine.
Why do we try to hide hurt feelings?
The simplest answer is that our low self-esteem keeps us from expressing ourselves. We don’t trust ourselves to successfully cope with other people’s response, whatever it is. We don’t trust that others will respond to our open-heartedness in a caring, supportive way. We don’t believe others will protect, approve of, or validate our vulnerability. So, assuming we’re in SELF-protective mode, we’re certainly not going to offer them the opportunity to make us feel any worse than we may already be feeling.
However, if we don’t let others know that what they’ve said or done has hurt us, they’re likely to continue doing exactly what they have been doing. Becoming aware of your emotions is the key to changing youself. Knowing and accepting how you feel is the first step. The second step is learning to put your feelings into words. Therapy can assist you in the process.
Carrie
