Have you received an apology with an excuse? Did they apologize and want to pick up right where you left off? Did they apologize but blame you for feeling hurt about it? Or did you not receive an apology and were just expected to move on in the relationship/friendship with no acknowledgement or resolution around the hurt?
While people can apologize with sincerity and perhaps even have the full intention to change, not everyone does.
Sometimes people aren’t emotionally ready to change. If given a choice, many people will choose a bad familiar situation over making an unfamiliar improvement. Many times, it’s easier to remain in a situation where you know what you get, even if it’s miserable.
Change typically doesn’t happen unless someone wants it for themselves. Someone who doesn’t show a willingness to address problem behavior, may leave you in a position to be hurt again and again.
Signs you may be at a crossroads include:
- This person in giving you ambiguous or mixed signals.
- The situation makes you feel bad about yourself.
- The situation has lowered your self-esteem.
- The situation has made you question your worth.
- You feel silenced or that your opinion doesn’t matter.
- Their words never match their actions.
- You’re the one giving and sacrificing.
If you find yourself hurt, angry or frustrated from someone’s actions, you may wish for an apology with changed behavior. Someone who regrets their actions can succeed at making changes. However, someone who insists they’ll change “this time” yet makes no effort, may not be ready to address their behavior.
Becoming aware of what you can and can’t control is your first step in healing.
Carrie
