Insecurity is an uncertainty, an uneasiness, or nervousness that stems from lacking confidence within yourself. It happens when you perceive yourself as vulnerable or inferior in some way to other people.
We ALL have insecurities. Some of us are good at managing them and some of us not so much. Most of us have experienced one or more of the following.
Signs of insecurity:
• An inability to give or receive compliments.
• An inability to look others in the eye.
• Bullying others.
• Arrogance. Constantly blowing your own horn.
• Overwhelming doubt.
• Jealousy.
• Fear of speaking up for yourself.
• Materialism or collecting possessions.
• Caring too much what others think.
• Controlling situations and others.
• Knowing it’s your fault if someone gets upset.
• Manipulating.
• Allowing others to make your life decisions.
We keep these behaviors and attitudes alive by believing strongly in our insecurities as we go along in life.
How it affects our thoughts:
• I’m not like other people.
• I’m stupid.
• I’m not good enough.
• I’m not attractive enough.
• I’ll never make friends.
• No one will ever love me.
• I’m a failure.
• I never do anything right.
• I hate my body.
• I will never accomplish anything.
Insecurity is simply a reaction to things we have absolutely no control over; the way others perceive, think and judge us. We over-correct by attaching ourselves to poor ways of coping.
We overachieve, we over control, we overthink, we over commit and feel overly guilty. We overcompensate for what we perceive is not being good enough.
It is easy to use our insecurities as a crutch. It is easy to blame everyone else. Real change in how you feel emotionally begins with becoming aware of the beliefs and thoughts in the mind.
This process will not be easy but can be accomplished through therapy. Change always comes with anxiety. These defenses and critical inner voices have been with you your whole life. A lack of awareness about how your mind compensates for feeling “less than” causes difficulty with self-esteem and self-confidence.
Becoming aware of and challenging insecurities is going to feel uncomfortable and you can expect the insecurities to get louder initially. They aren’t likely to vanish overnight, but slowly, through perseverance, they will start to weaken.
Carrie
