Having friends that you can turn to for advice is fantastic. However, if the advice leaves you feeling confused, indifferent, defensive, misunderstood, or incapable of making your own decisions, then it isn’t really helping.
When people give advice, they’re giving their own version of what happiness looks like. We each have our own bias based on our own experiences. What works for them may not work for you. The advice isn’t necessarily bad; it’s just not a good fit for you.
Also, it’s human nature to want to make people feel better. Often people will tell one other what makes someone feel better in the moment, rather than run the risk of hurting feelings. You care about what they think of you and vice versa. While this is a good foundation for a relationship, it is not a good foundation for solid advice. In fact, many friendships have ended over the exchange of honest, raw, advice and opinions.
Therapy goes beyond words of wisdom. You need a place that is safe, confidential and non-judgmental. You must be able to share your deepest thoughts and concerns. Most people simply can’t do this with friends and family. You think you can, but it is way more complex than most realize.
Beyond advice, you need a plan. Therapy will help you develop a path through the maze and help you walk through it every step of the way.
As a therapist I have spent many years mastering this craft. I work with everyday people with everyday problems. It’s time you talked to an expert.
Carrie
