It’s okay to miss someone who isn’t good for you.

Missing someone you no longer want in your life can be exhausting. Your mind constantly works overtime trying to forget the very person that was such a big part of your everyday life. Hiding your feelings of hurt, sadness and worry can become all consuming.

But at a seemingly ordinary moment, you are triggered… there it is. A reminder of this person. A slap in the face. Reality’s wake up call. Thoughts of this person now preoccupy your mind. You become overwhelmed by hurt and suffering.

But here is what you need to know:

It’s okay to miss someone who isn’t good for you. It’s ok to miss how well you knew them. It’s okay to miss how well they knew you. It’s okay to miss someone even when they’ve hurt you. It’s okay to remember the good times. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to think about them. It’s okay to think about the “what ifs”. It’s ok to have regrets. It’s okay to wonder if they’re missing you. It’s okay to miss someone who was a part of your life.

These are normal and natural reactions to the trauma of loss. However, this doesn’t mean you have to accept this person back into your life again. If you know that the relationship is not good for you, stick to your guns. The loss of a relationship is unsettling, but don’t let your wishful thinking, your guilt, your sorrow or your empathy lead you down another dead end path. If you can’t do it alone, therapy can provide the support you need.

Tell me your story.

Carrie

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(817) 946-1620 | carrie@carrienet.com | Licensed Online Therapy and Counseling

4 Responses to “It’s okay to miss someone who isn’t good for you.”

  1. Tanya,

    I really needed this. I’ve been struggling with the missing of a person who was abusive to me for 3 years. You feel stupid. But, staying away is the only way to heal.

  2. Thomas,

    Yeah, sometimes you have to close the wrong doors in order to open the ones that are holding the right things for you…If you’re looking in the wrong rooms ye gonna find the wrong things – life’s too short!

  3. Mark,

    Wow, it’s like this article was written just for me and what I’m going through right now. I feared I was losing my battle with depression and then this popped up in my email. Gives me something to think about now and maybe even look forward to.