Are you constantly saying you’re sorry and feeling the need to explain your words and actions? Do you forever feel the need to apologize or defend your behaviors? Do you have a never-ending need to be understood, approved of and liked?
Stop explaining why you say what you say and why you do what you do. Stop justifying yourself to others by trying to prove that your actions are acceptable. Stop apologizing. Stop looking for approval of your choices to maintain the image of how you would like to be seen.
This does not mean to stop caring about other people’s thoughts and feelings. However, if you don’t learn to trust your choices, you will sabotage your self-esteem and eventually wear down your self worth. If you want to explain, then by all means, explain yourself. But don’t feel OBLIGATED. The lower your self-esteem the more you will feel you need to tell others what you are doing.
To the people who really understand you, the closest, most important people in your life, will not need any explanation at all. They already “get” you. They love you as you are.
Look inside yourself and at your own reactions. Ask yourself why you feel the need to explain yourself. Stand up. This is your life to fail in or succeed. Be confident and trust who you are. Pursue your own path.
Carrie
Thank you. I can so relate to what you’ve written! I refer to myself as a “recovering people pleaser” if that tells you anything. I’ve been working on my issues for a long time and I’ve made so much progress. Occasionally I feel the pull back to old ways though.