What do you do to avoid uncomfortable feelings?
Do you bury yourself in work? Do you avoid being alone? Are you consumed in other people’s problems rather than dealing with your own? Are you constantly on the go? Do you shop for things you don’t need or eat stuff you’re not really hungry for? Do you distract yourself with social media or work out excessively?
We all avoid. It is human nature.
We fear the unknown. We fear opening a door we can’t close. We fear spiraling out of control. We are afraid to start crying and not being able to stop. We are fearful of what others think. We fear anger. We are afraid of collapsing and not being able to get up again.
We fear lots of things. And so we avoid.
But it’s these survival instincts that keep us from being whole, accomplishing our dreams or having the healthy, intimate relationships we deserve.
As a culture, we are taught to avoid feelings at all costs. But feelings communicate all sorts of information to us. They are neither good nor bad. They just are.
It is also important to say we are not our feelings, just as we are not what we see or hear. Our feelings give us input, information and data. We choose how and if we want to respond.
Learning to sit with feelings can free you from the need to live a day-in, day-out life in avoidance mode. Simply feeling and not doing can feel terrifying; especially when we think that in order to do something we must do something “now”. It’s common to imagine that some feelings may very well destroy us.
It is ok to be uncertain and scared. It is ok to ask for help. Making peace with your past is a process. But it is possible to learn how to enjoy the present and look forward to the future.
No emotion is permanent.
Carrie
