This self-quiz is useful for assessing the strength and weaknesses of your relationship. Although it is not required to see for viewing the results, I encourage you to include your email address and any comments or questions in the space provided at the end of the assessment. I am happy to discuss your results. If you don’t receive a quick response, it is likely due to an incorrect email address.

How do you know if your relationship experiences "normal ups and downs" or is stuck in abusive, toxic patterns? Determining the health of your relationships is the first step toward creating a happier life for yourself and those you surround yourself with.

Complete this questionnaire for only one person in your life. Don't combine answers about your spouse with answers about another relationship. You can take the quiz again simply by answering the questions with another person in your life. It will help you not only identify whether your relationships are destructive, but in what way they are destructive.

 

1. 
Does the person use physical force or threats of force to make you do something you don't want to do, or to keep you from doing something you want to do?

2. 
Does the person use verbal weapons such as cursing, name calling, degrading comments, constant criticism, or blaming to get you to do something you don't want to do or to keep you from doing something you want to do?

3. 
Does the person curse at you, call you names, humiliate you in public, or degrade you when he/she is unhappy with something you do?

4. 
Does the person force or manipulate you to perform sexually in ways you do not want to?

5. 
Do you ever feel afraid of the person?

6. 
Does the person yell, curse, or hurt you physically when he/she is frustrated or angry?

7. 
Does the person threaten to alienate your children from you or use them to intimidate you into getting what he/she wants?

8. 
Are you afraid to disagree with the person?

9. 
When you share your thoughts and feelings about something important to you, does the person ignore, make fun of, or dismiss you?

10. 
Are you verbally and/or physically abusive toward the person?

11. 
Does the person always think he/she is right and doesn't stop arguing with you until you're worn out or give in?

12. 
Does the person make most of your decisions for you?

13. 
Does the person control the family money, giving you little or no say?

14. 
Have you given up things that were important to you because the person pressured you?

15. 
Does the person pout or withdraw from you for extended periods of time when he/she is angry or upset with you?

16. 
When you ask for a time out or don't want to talk about something anymore, does the person keep badgering you to engage?

17. 
Does the person lie to you?

18. 
Have you observed the person lying to others?

19. 
Does the person tell you something didn't happen when you know it did?

20. 
Does the person tell you he/she didn't say something when you're pretty sure he/she did?

21. 
Does the person depend on you to meet all his/her needs?

22. 
Do you feel more like a child than an adult in the relationship?

23. 
Are you emotionally devastated when the person is upset with you or doesn't want to be in relationship with you?

24. 
When you try to talk with the person about something that's bothering you, do you end up feeling like the trouble is your fault?

25. 
When the person does something wrong, does he/she blame you or anyone else for it?

26. 
Does the other person make excuses for his/her behavior (anger, jealousy, lies)?

27. 
Do you feel loved and cared for in the relationship?

28. 
Can you safely express an opinion that is different from the person's?

29. 
Does the person show interest in you and your needs?

30. 
Are you able to express your honest thoughts and feelings with the person?

31. 
When the person does something wrong, does he/she admit it and take responsibility for it?

By ,

(817) 946-1620 | carrie@carrienet.com | Licensed Online Therapy and Counseling

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