Everyone has regrets. Even though many people would say they live their lives without regrets, the reality is, all of us have things we feel sorry about or remorseful about. Things we grieve over. We all regret things we should or should not have done or said, but did or did not.
There is a saying that hindsight is 20/20. Hindsight is often used to criticize a past, less than ideal decision. The criticism may be justified, but it is ‘unfair’, because at the time the past decision was made, the information we have NOW was not available. This hindsight leads to regrets, as well as beating ourselves up and obsessing over what could have been.
Maybe you’ve worked so hard to succeed that you’ve done so at the expense of family or friends. Perhaps you never made peace with someone and now they’re gone. Maybe you ended a relationship that you should have put one last-ditch effort into.
Perhaps you should have spent more time with someone or maybe you lacked confidence to go for it or you were too worried about what other people thought to pursue your own dreams. Maybe you never trusted that voice in the back of your head that told you to stay away. Maybe fear kept you from taking chances.
When life gets too stressful you obsess about how things could have been different. But too much questioning is toxic and unproductive.
In order to determine if your regrets are toxic, ask yourself, “Are the regrets and ‘what ifs’ interfering with my current happiness?” Often, if you’re steeped in “what ifs” it is because something else is lacking.
So what can you do about it? Instead of focusing on what you did or do not do, turn today into an opportunity to do the things you will not regret.
What can you do today to ensure you don’t experience any of these regrets later on down the road? Hopefully, your poor decisions have taught you some life lessons. What small step can you take in the right direction today? What have your life lessons taught you about the person you want or do not want to be?
A good goal might be one of the following:
I can take better care of my health today by walking.
I can spend time with my children at the park.
I can call an old friend and catch up.
Are you going to change anything today? Or are you going to go back to your busy life?
Carrie
