Why am I such an idiot? I’m hopeless. I’m damaged. I’m crazy. I’m fat. I’m a failure. I’m old. I’m stupid. I’ll never be enough. I’ll never have enough. I’ll never learn. I’m not lovable. I’m a horrible person. I’m incapable of love. I’m broken.
Self-talk is the never-ending barrage of unspoken thoughts that run through your head at any given moment of any given day. It’s your inner dialogue. These automatic thoughts can be positive or negative. Some of your self-talk is logical and reasonable. But then again, some of your self-talk results from misconceptions you created or things you were incorrectly told about yourself.
Negative self-talk is limiting, crippling and harmful. It amplifies your insecurities. It is the bully in your brain. Just like the childhood bully, this “thought bully” uses force and threats to coerce, abuse and intimidate. Your brain is exceptional at telling you engaging stories that are so convincing that they influence you to act out of fear and irrational anxiety.
What is the bully saying to you? Does it tell you you’ll always fail? Does it tell you that you will never be enough? Does it tell you that you must always perform? Or always achieve?
Each time you repeat one of those negative phrases you are actually making your irrational idea much stronger. Most of the time, people just go through the day unaware of the impact their inner thoughts have on their everyday behavior. Nevertheless, what we say to ourselves has serious consequences, especially if the thoughts are critical, worrisome, and victimizing. These words carry fear, shame, judgment, blame, doubt and criticism.
It doesn’t take very long for one to start believing the story and accepting this as the truth. Do you buy into the story you’re telling yourself?
Having this kind of conversation and inner dialogue with yourself is perfectly normal. However, the real problem is that negative self-talk reinforces the irrational ideas you already have, whereas positive self-talk uplifts you, increases your confidence and allows you to adopt a healthier lifestyle.
If you relate to this article, therapy can help you address these patterns and assist in learning more constructive ways of thinking. As a result, healthy thoughts will produce healthier behaviors and beliefs as well as your ability to respond to them in more effective ways.
Your self-talk creates your reality. Rewire your brain and create new thoughts and habits to bring what you DO want in your life as opposed to what you don’t want.
Carrie
