The “I got this” disease.

Like most men, you probably believe that you handle your everyday stress fairly well. Sure, you have stressors. Your boss insults you, gives you impossible deadlines and makes it apparent that you are disposable. Your marriage has grown stale. Your kids sometimes seem too interested in their lives to hang out with you. Your parents are getting older and somewhere your roles got reversed and you are the caretaker for them. You worry a lot about finances and how you are going to make it all work. But everyone experiences this, right?

Not necessarily. Why do men believe asking for help is a weakness instead of a strength? Many men believe that asking for help lessens other people’s respect for and confidence in them. They have the “I got this” disease.

There is no single trigger for stress in men. Trials and tribulations that cause tension in our lives are personal problems, but they often fall into larger universal categories. Here are the three of the most common:

1. Work. Along with providing an income, jobs or careers help us fulfill personal goals, build social networks, provide a sense of accomplishment and serve our profession.

However, work is also a source of major emotional stress.Lack of control, increased responsibility, excessive work loads, low job satisfaction, uncertainty, layoffs, poor communication, lack of support, few opportunities, inflexible work hours or low salaries can lead to a downward spiral, both professionally and personally.

2. Family/Relationships. Our relationships with family, friends and lovers are among the greatest joys in life. Happy relationships can make all the difference during challenging times.

But even our closest and most valued relationships can be put to the test. Complications in relationships can be the most insidious way to undermine our health and happiness. Unfortunately, more and more people are experiencing relationships as a major source emotional stress.

Harboring resentment, jealousy, arguments, fighting about the same things, blame, miscommunication, major life events, finances, insufficient time spent together, mental or physical illness, sarcasm, and lack of coping skills can all intensify stress levels.

3. Finances. Financial stress is nothing new. Not surprisingly, paying bills, managing debt and sticking to a budget can be one of the highest stressors for people. Financial stress has everything to do with uncertainty about your money situation and your future. Not knowing specifics about where you stand can eat way at you over time.

Many men have it ingrained in them that they must be the ‘breadwinner’ for the family. Many men derive at least some of their identity from being the provider, so losing a job, taking a position with lower pay; not producing enough to pay the bills or having a spouse who makes more may stress them out.

Help. Anything that makes you feel useless, helpless, alone, profoundly sad can trigger stress. Any one of these can also be a reason to seek therapy. You may feel that talking to an outsider about your problems is ‘unmanly,’ or that therapy creates a victim status. However, it can be an extremely effective treatment for men.

Opening up to a therapist can often bring a swift sense of relief, even to the most skeptical male.

Tell me your story.

Carrie