Do you want everyone to like or love you? What about the people you like? Sure. What about the people you respect? Of course.
Who doesn’t want to feel accepted, respected, and appreciated?
But what about the people you don’t really care for or people who have made it clear they don’t care for you? The recipients of your joke at that party that was misconstrued? The people you’ll never see again? Do you agonize over whether or not you’ve offended a stranger last week? Were you polite enough to the guy behind you talking throughout the movie? Did you respond correctly to the Twitter rant from a person with a cat as a profile picture whose real name you don’t even know?
Some would argue that the solution lies in “stop caring so much about what other people think”. Ahh simple, right? Not so much.
In the process of wanting to be universally liked you are doing one of two things. You are ignoring your own needs in favor of others OR you are too afraid of what other people think of you.
When the approval-seeking process comes at the expense of our own happiness, values, beliefs and standards, it is time to make some changes.
First and foremost, it’s time to start meeting your own needs. We compromise ourselves a hundred ways and turn ourselves inside out trying to make others like us. Stop trying to control everyone’s perception of you and start investing your emotional energy into things you can change, which is yourself. Work on educating, improving and developing yourself rather than convincing people that you are good enough. Start letting people see the real you and make peace with the fact that they might not like what they see.
Not everyone is going to like you. You have to learn how to be ok with this. People are going to dislike you no matter what you do or how fabulous you are. You will find your people. The ones who truly get you. The people who stay by your side in those moments of vulnerability without criticism or judgment are truly your people.
Carrie
