Love for someone or something can be one of the scariest emotions. It’s likely you’ve experienced just how far down the pain can go, now that you’ve lost it.
Something you held so very close to your heart was there one minute and gone the next. It doesn’t matter if you saw it coming and tried your best to prepare for it, or if it was unexpectedly taken from you.
Grief. It’s all the same. Overwhelming. Relentless. Agonizing and ruthless.
It’s the 3:00 am jolting wake up to your new reality. It’s the harsh reminders of what’s missing in your day to day routine. It’s bursting into tears over the tiniest of reminders when your day initially seemed manageable. It’s struggle of how to make it through the day or sometimes even the next hour…let alone, learning how to pick up the pieces and move forward.
I know you understand the loss fairly quickly in logical terms. But making sense of your emotions and the autopilot behaviors that follow can be confusing and sheer agony.
Please don’t run from your pain. Allow yourself to sit with it. Don’t judge it or push it away or think you should be over this already. You don’t need to sacrifice who you are in the present moment to fulfill an idea of who you should be.
Feeling this pain is the bravest fight you will fight. I’m rooting for you. It is ok to not be ok. Allow yourself to feel everything you’re feeling right now. Give yourself grace and kindness. It’s going to hurt. It hurts because this mattered to you.
You feel this pain because you’ve loved so hard.
You will make it through this too, brave girl.
Carrie
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