Do you let people pull you in all kinds of directions? Do you feel as though someone is holding you back from reaching your full potential? Do you make yourself smaller to please another person? Do you allow someone else to pull your strings? Do you wait for directions from others? Do you feel that other people control your life? Do you act by your own choice or are you reacting to others?
One of the strongest driving forces to human behavior is our need to be loved and accepted. Many of us have been raised to think our self-worth comes from serving and pleasing everyone else. And boy oh boy does guilt play a huge role.
You cannot get very far in life without encountering someone who has mastered manipulating your puppet strings. Maybe it’s a family member who guilts you into spending time with them, a friend you feel sorry for who constantly asks for money or perhaps it’s your boss who makes its it clear you need to stay late or it will cost you your job. Or your child who always gets what he or she wants from you. Threatening you with withdrawal of love, money, success, assistance, friendship, etc. in a carrot and stick kind of way is common.
If you want to change, you must ask yourself 3 questions.
• What is the REAL price to pay if I do or don’t do this thing?
• Am I willing to accept this kind of deal?
• What are my options?
This might sound a lot like a Catch 22. It feels as if there is no good resolution. Damned if you do. Damned if you don’t. It is inevitable you will disappoint someone and it’s easy to fall into the trap of letting that be the guiding force in your decisions. In doing so, you are giving them control of your strings.
In order to restore mastery of your own strings, you have to make certain that you are in control of your time and energy. You should be able to decide where to put your focus.
While you may think that giving your power away is no big deal, I assure you it comes at a price. Acknowledge you are handing your strings to other people and choose to take them back.
Carrie
