Do you have a hard time accepting a compliment? When people praise you, do you just know they aren’t being sincere? Do you downplay your performance or abilities? Do you brush off compliments because you believe you’re just not that special? Do you feel exposed and self-conscious when complimented? Are you clueless how to respond to a compliment?
If it is hard for you to take a compliment, I personally invite you to make a change.
Many people downplay compliments in order to avoid appearing haughty, superior or conceited. Maybe you truly believe that WHATEVER it was isn’t all that great. However, you may feel as if you’re responding appropriately, but it only undermines the compliment or insults the giver.
When you devalue a compliment, you send the message that you have a low self-esteem, low confidence and that you don’t respect the opinion of the giver. And by rejecting the compliment, you are also possibly insulting the person who gave it to you.
Let that sink in. Reread it if you have to.
So how do you receive a compliment without being awkward about it?
When someone gives you a compliment, be appreciative. Maintain eye contact. Pay attention to your body language. Don’t be tempted to look down or away. Simply say two words…“Thank you!” It’s a simple, but powerful phrase.
If you want to get fancier you can say, “Thank you, I worked hard on that project.” or “Thanks, it is so kind of you to notice.” or “Thank you, that means a lot to me.”
Make certain you don’t undermine the compliment. Avoid phrases like, “Oh, it’s no big deal,” or “Thanks, but it was nothing.” You may feel that you’re showing humility when you’re downplaying a compliment, but be aware you might be making the giver feel personally rejected.
It sounds simple enough, but I understand it can be incredibly difficult for people. I suggest complimenting yourself more and practicing with family and friends until you feel comfortable saying those two little words.
If you’re having a hard time truly believing that you aren’t worthy or deserving of compliments or if you’re downright distrustful of others, this runs a bit deeper. Perhaps the limitations you experience in life are a result of a deeper belief that you don’t deserve more or that people have hidden agendas.
Therapy helps in these circumstances. If you don’t uncover what is underlying, you can’t change it.
You’re amazing. (What was your response?)
Carrie
