Although there is no steadfast, or “by the book” way people in relationships want to be treated, there are a few guidelines of common decency.
People with good self-esteem believe that they deserve to be treated with kindness and respect no matter what. They aren’t afraid to enforce being treated well and more importantly they are not afraid to walk away from anything abusive, manipulative or toxic.
Not everyone is going to honor your requests or your clarity in setting up these guidelines. AND THAT’S OK. It’s part of the process of surrounding yourself with good people.
You teach people how to treat you by the guidelines you set for yourself. If you don’t have guidelines, you are treading a slippery slope. Imagine what people can get away with. Think about what you allow to happen.
Get clear with yourself on how you want to be treated. This means taking responsibility writing your guidelines and being prepared to live them.
Start by thinking about what you want. Pick an area of your life where you feel you are not being treated well. Write down how you want to be treated. Start simple. Perhaps thinking about what you don’t want can help guide you with this process.
If you find yourself questioning whether or not your relationship is healthy, normal or perhaps even tolerable, you can learn how to master some basic principles about relationships. Determining what want in your relationships through therapy can help you navigate through the confusion and heartbreak.
Carrie
